What makes a bad parent? Let's not go with the obvious choices let's go deeper and think harder for just a few seconds and see what we come up with. I have not seen my daughter in about 8 years and at first glance everyone would say I am a bad parent. A statistic a number that can be tracked and collated and distilled to banality. Yet that is not the whole story of the situation. Many people can say oh well do something about it but because I can't does that make me a bad parent?
Lets look at the other side of the story; her mother. The "good" parent, maybe. The parent that cares for her in person has full custody and yet hides from me and my family. This is the parent that demanded she have our child the majority of the week. Fought to keep me a "weekend" parent even though I arranged my schedule with my job at the time so that I could have more time with my daughter. The "good" parent conspired with her family to essentially kidnap our child. And yet her mom is still the "best" parent.
I am under the impression that for any one to be considered a good parent the guy has to pay out of the nose and the woman has very little accountability. I am automatically the bad parent even though my home had everything my daughter could want or need. I spent time with her and taught her what she needed for the time. She had manners and knew how to wash her hands before eating and how to wipe them when she got messy. Yep being a bad parent was such a tiresome thing. I don't know about anyone else but I think that from my point of view being the bad parent may not have been so bad at all. The next time you run into the "bad" parent look beneath the surface and see if there something deeper.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Being A Foodie
So this is going to be my first food blog but not my last. There will even be video coming as soon as I can find the stuff I want to show. For anyone who knows me I am a very picky eater and seriously more of a carnivore than an omnivore. My journey started in OR about hmmmmmm 10 years ago when I seriously started experimenting with my grill and stove. I found a great recipe for an awesome BBQ sauce and my mole (pronounced mo lea) with a little help from a friend's secret sauce, exploded. I started experimenting with my flavors and seasoning and grew exponentially.
So that brings us to the here and now. I go to sushi; and trust me that is a leap for me; and I do other foods while still being picky. Yeah I am picky I don't like onion, can't eat bell peppers and most fish i still wont eat. Can't stand the smell and I will not absolutely will not eat shell fish. So yes as a foodie I fail some what, but I still like tons of other stuff.
As I write this I am thinking that BBQ season is coming upon us. Time to take out the sugar (brown) and spice and everything nice. I think this year I will try my hand at 2 home made BBQ sauces and maybe a few dry rubs. Now all I need is a smoker and I will be ready and set to do my thing.
So that brings us to the here and now. I go to sushi; and trust me that is a leap for me; and I do other foods while still being picky. Yeah I am picky I don't like onion, can't eat bell peppers and most fish i still wont eat. Can't stand the smell and I will not absolutely will not eat shell fish. So yes as a foodie I fail some what, but I still like tons of other stuff.
As I write this I am thinking that BBQ season is coming upon us. Time to take out the sugar (brown) and spice and everything nice. I think this year I will try my hand at 2 home made BBQ sauces and maybe a few dry rubs. Now all I need is a smoker and I will be ready and set to do my thing.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Cartoons, Cartoons
Do you remember when Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, The Hairy Monster were all funny cartoons that we could watch and enjoy. Simple comedy from a cross dressing rabbit, a loud mouthed duck, and a bald man with a speech impediment. These were cartoons that defined several generations inculding mine. Lets go further and look at the cartoons we watched on Saturday mornings. Go Bots and Transformers, Smurfs, Snorks, The Amazing Spider man and his Super Friends. There was the X-Men and Richie Rich. Then the cartoons we rushed home to watch....one of my faves Robotech and G.I. Joe, there was Darkwing Duck, Tailspin, Duck Tails, Gargoyles, M.A.S.K, Silverhawks, S.W.A.T Kats, and so many others. the common thread between all of these cartoons was simple and direct. There was a bad guys and there was a good guy(or girl). The good guys normally came out on top in the end but sometimes....not so much.
Today's cartoons seem to be about making kids not see that there is good and bad in the world but that there is just plain old stupidity and it is ok to be that way. even some of the better ones like Phineas and Ferb and Johnny Test seem to include overly simple and overly moronic bad guys good guys or just all around guys. What has happened to cartoons teaching values and being truly funny. Not funny in a Jackass kind of way but using true humor to get a laugh?
How many 20 and 30 somethings remember when a cartoon was good because it was not overly simple but not overly complicated either? Last truly good cartoon i can think of came from Nickelodeon and then it seemed to be geared to older kids and not the younger ones. You may ask what this cartoon is and I will tell you the answer in the next sentence. Hahahaha ok enough joking around Avatar: The Last Airbender was great since it came out in a time when good cartoons were falling off TV like flies in a cold snap.
You may wonder why I am writing about cartoons and why i would make mention of so many that seem so corny now that we have reached adulthood. Well I will tell you why; I am writing because i have discovered the joy of sharing some of my old cartoons with kids. We may think they are corny and really really old fashioned but I am finding a new generation is enthralled with things that came out of the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's. Somewhere along the way we forgot to just K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid) and let kids enjoy being kids. I love the fact that i have a 9 year old asking me to watch Voltron with him and seeing him on Netflix go for the Pink Panther cartoons instead of something mindless and designed for today's kids. Imitation is the best form of flattery but imagination sets you free.
Today's cartoons seem to be about making kids not see that there is good and bad in the world but that there is just plain old stupidity and it is ok to be that way. even some of the better ones like Phineas and Ferb and Johnny Test seem to include overly simple and overly moronic bad guys good guys or just all around guys. What has happened to cartoons teaching values and being truly funny. Not funny in a Jackass kind of way but using true humor to get a laugh?
How many 20 and 30 somethings remember when a cartoon was good because it was not overly simple but not overly complicated either? Last truly good cartoon i can think of came from Nickelodeon and then it seemed to be geared to older kids and not the younger ones. You may ask what this cartoon is and I will tell you the answer in the next sentence. Hahahaha ok enough joking around Avatar: The Last Airbender was great since it came out in a time when good cartoons were falling off TV like flies in a cold snap.
You may wonder why I am writing about cartoons and why i would make mention of so many that seem so corny now that we have reached adulthood. Well I will tell you why; I am writing because i have discovered the joy of sharing some of my old cartoons with kids. We may think they are corny and really really old fashioned but I am finding a new generation is enthralled with things that came out of the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's. Somewhere along the way we forgot to just K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid) and let kids enjoy being kids. I love the fact that i have a 9 year old asking me to watch Voltron with him and seeing him on Netflix go for the Pink Panther cartoons instead of something mindless and designed for today's kids. Imitation is the best form of flattery but imagination sets you free.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
The World from My Eyes
How do you see the world? What colors your views and how do use your experiences to interact with the world at large? I see the world as largely black and white with some some small gray areas stuck in there just for fun. I know why I see the world in this manner and it all breaks down to it makes the world safe for me.
How could Icome to the conclusion that the world is mostly black and white? Lets take a fantastic voyage into the nether realms of my mind to find the answer. First I grew up in the 'hood, Los Angeles, home of the Lakers, the Clippers, the Dodgers, and well most the good memories in my life. However there are some things I would love to forget; some things that we will allude to but not actually say.
OK so here we go...I moved to L.A.when i was 6 from a small town called Mojave. Now it was all exciting and new until i found out that boys of my coloring were not liked by all. Instance number 1...elementary school was not fun. Then having a sister who is smart and having every one comparing you to her...well instance number 2, Then there was a divorce and more school and then a group of "friends" who took me to a new understanding of how we fall prey to our own insecurities. Instance number 3 in this wonderful little drama called my life. I made some changes in high school got a mentor and changed my latitude in life but what made me, me has always been the same.
Each instance has shaped me in a way that can not be quantified by just words. Every experience, every moment, when viewed in hindsight has brought deeper understand of why things are for me. Why life appears so black and white sprinkled with gray. Church had some thing to do with it and interactions with my parents and friends of differing faiths and religions but the overriding theme is people. People help us see or not see the world for all of its varying colors; people make up the palette and the canvas that we use to paint our lives.
So why do you see the world the way you do? Is it people, a person, a personal experience, what has defined you through out your life? When you look closely you will find your underlying reason for the coloration of your world view.
How could Icome to the conclusion that the world is mostly black and white? Lets take a fantastic voyage into the nether realms of my mind to find the answer. First I grew up in the 'hood, Los Angeles, home of the Lakers, the Clippers, the Dodgers, and well most the good memories in my life. However there are some things I would love to forget; some things that we will allude to but not actually say.
OK so here we go...I moved to L.A.when i was 6 from a small town called Mojave. Now it was all exciting and new until i found out that boys of my coloring were not liked by all. Instance number 1...elementary school was not fun. Then having a sister who is smart and having every one comparing you to her...well instance number 2, Then there was a divorce and more school and then a group of "friends" who took me to a new understanding of how we fall prey to our own insecurities. Instance number 3 in this wonderful little drama called my life. I made some changes in high school got a mentor and changed my latitude in life but what made me, me has always been the same.
Each instance has shaped me in a way that can not be quantified by just words. Every experience, every moment, when viewed in hindsight has brought deeper understand of why things are for me. Why life appears so black and white sprinkled with gray. Church had some thing to do with it and interactions with my parents and friends of differing faiths and religions but the overriding theme is people. People help us see or not see the world for all of its varying colors; people make up the palette and the canvas that we use to paint our lives.
So why do you see the world the way you do? Is it people, a person, a personal experience, what has defined you through out your life? When you look closely you will find your underlying reason for the coloration of your world view.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Working Today
OK so here I am at 33 still in the ranks of the unemployed. I am doing everything I can to make some thing happen. I have been not called, called back, told(through email of course) not the right fit, over qualified, under qualifiied, or a close match but not what the company is looking for at this time.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I submit to you that companies are happy with the way things are. What I mean is this; our economic down turn is the perfect excuse to excuse corporate bad behaviour. No i don't think that every company should hire just any one if they apply but i think they do need to look past a piece of paper or an email and get to know the person applying. Keywords do not a person make. Just by looking at resume you can't tell how some one will be as an employee.
I wonder what would happen if the President really took an interest in the job market and made a law saying that every 10th interview had to be a hire...regardless of qualifications. Well I can speculate what that would do and any one with an imagination can too. My point here is this is how companies are treating the unemployed American public. There is a blanket assumption that unemployed means undesirable. Some people don't fit the jobs they choose to do. I have taken a few of those and I was not happy in them. I could do the work but the job didn't fit me. Just because we are unemployed does not mean we won't can't or should not work.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury I submit to you that companies are happy with the way things are. What I mean is this; our economic down turn is the perfect excuse to excuse corporate bad behaviour. No i don't think that every company should hire just any one if they apply but i think they do need to look past a piece of paper or an email and get to know the person applying. Keywords do not a person make. Just by looking at resume you can't tell how some one will be as an employee.
I wonder what would happen if the President really took an interest in the job market and made a law saying that every 10th interview had to be a hire...regardless of qualifications. Well I can speculate what that would do and any one with an imagination can too. My point here is this is how companies are treating the unemployed American public. There is a blanket assumption that unemployed means undesirable. Some people don't fit the jobs they choose to do. I have taken a few of those and I was not happy in them. I could do the work but the job didn't fit me. Just because we are unemployed does not mean we won't can't or should not work.
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