The Sentinel

This is my last attempt at poetry so if my words don't flow don't have a go at me. Please understand I am speaking from my heart lettering that last wall fall in hoppers I can gain back some of my humanity.

See you inspired me to go to the written word when I had given up hope of of speaking again. You encouraged me t ok seek the voice that I have been missing, to busy pudding away the gift that I have been graced with. Facing once again losing a gift I had been graced with I turn to the written word to convey the psalm that is on my heart.

Even though it started when I was young and graced with that golden tongue that turned you to look at me. I started to see a bigger picture when I leet you in so that I could knowingly sin. In your arms I felt happy for a time, but then things began to unwind. Since I was grown but not, I should have had the sense to stop before I damaged you, but like a selfish child I wanted more.

That left the door open for years and to many tears most of which I never cried as I tired to impart how you had my heart. See hindsight is 20/20 and though I see clearly now I was blinded then. I was blinded by my misery  and shame could see that the whole time you were willing to stand beside me and lead me to the light. I was t ok busy trying to fight a battle that was mine. If I had a dime for every time I have you an excuse I would be well off. Pardon me as I cough from the dust that is rising from my index emotions, tightly locked away from coming out to play since I had been hurt before.

I know you are not her or them but in your own way while tending my garden you were slowly destroying me, but that is because I would not let you see through the fog of my wounds as they poured out more smoke. Yes those screens we used to choke and kill the romance we had and now using that hindsight 20/20 ok wish I could take it back.

Nothing to do be be a man accept my mistakes say a heartfelt I am sorry to the one woman who stood in my corner against all odds and fought for me. My sentinel, my guardian even when the job is no longer yours you stand a post better than most and longer than all. I don't know if this is your call given to you by the divine Master but I say thank you a and I am sorry for all the hurt I caused. I am flawed and broken though with you standing guard I get to play the card one more time.